When your heart hurts....

Tornadoes in December in Texas. Who has ever heard of it? I was talking today about the fact that we ALL ignore warnings. We think we can beat the storm because we are almost there. Four of my "kids" were out on Saturday night at the Dallas Galleria trying to come home. I asked them to hang out a little longer as the thunder storms were hard, and they did. I was sickened watching the news, and the reports and the tragedies. I was likewise kicked in the gut even harder knowing that a wonderful husband, father and son was taken during this storm. And even though he was a Christian in every sense of the word, it still hurts. He was still needed. He was still loved. He was still providing for his family. Taken way too soon. He taught students overseas the gospel of Christ. He was a nurse and he was a military man in the reserves. Nothing can make this ache go away that I have for his family. I know this is a side effect of living...dying but this is just too much, too soon. I have cried and prayed for this dear man's family. It is a pain I cannot begin to imagine and never hope to.

Sometimes it seems like there is a never-ending degree of heartache. The kind that takes your breath away every time you think you have finally caught it. Death, sickness, pain, heartache and the loss of trust in a friendship. Friendship can be repaired but I am not sure it will be able to be. When you find out things that you didn't know were going on. People talking behind your back but never discussing it with you, it hurts. I do not treat people like that and I do not think it is right. Each time my heart closes off a bit, my skin thickens and I don't want to let anyone in again, especially the one that hurt me. Sometimes things happen that put distance between that friendship and sometimes that distance is a good thing. I choose to look at the blessings in my life and pray for those in need; those that have endured great loss and those that have painfully wronged me. While I cannot change anyone or how they treat another, I can change me. I can make sure that I NEVER do that to another person.

I know that friendship and love are important but friendship gone wrong is not loving in the least. It borders on betrayal, and oh, betrayal burns with intensity. It reminds us that others can and will bear down on our hearts and lack the tenderness to care.